After the Big Sister's (who's 5'4") two posts about profanity I felt compelled to share and seeing how basil slipped away and forgot to take my keys, well I'll just use his blog as a confessional.
At my previous job I worked with folks from all over the country. I started the job while I was still in college and a tad bit on the naive side of things when it comes to how the world operates, come to think of the phrase "Hayseed" was used to describe me more than once. Of course those doing the describing were Yankees.
One of the things I learned during my time on the job is that Yankees talk different (and don't know how to fix tea, but that's another post). Now when I say they talk different, it's not just their accents, it's their vocabulary, or as the Big Sister (who's 5'4") said, their lack thereof. See one of the things I had to adjust to was their fondness of stringing together four letter words that you wouldn't use around your mom, or at least I wouldn't use around mine, and at first I took them to be fightin' words.
Well not so much fightin' in the physical sense, but they sure managed to get me on edge and ruffle the ole feathers. Now I had a pretty simple way to handle these folks. They'd start cussing at me and I'd hang up. Plain and simple when they quit their fussing all they'd hear would be the dial-tone. Some of them learned pretty quick, some, well lets just say they were a bit dense and it took a talkin' too for them to get the point.
Well as the years went by I ended up adjusting my vocabulary a bit when I was dealing with guys who had potty mouth, but I never directed my obesities at anyone. I just wasn't, and probably won't ever be, comfortable cussin' somebody, 'less I was using fightin' words and well I realized a long time ago that there's quite a few folks out there a whole lot bigger and a whole lot meaner than I am, okay, maybe not meaner, but you get the point, so I've adjusted my language accordingly.
The biggest change though came with the hatching of the phinlet, my first child. The missus and my father have both warned me that chirrens are going to pickup on words said with emphasis. All it took was watching Meet the Fockers for a second time to realize that I'd best clean up my language just a bit more. This dear readers, is where y'all come in to play, I need some valid substitutes and well the lack of sleep is cutting into my creativity. So gimmie' your bestest not profanity profanities.