Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Sentencing Moussaoui

Precision Guided Humor

Next on Discovery ... a Dirty Jobs special ... featuring special guest host, Zacarias Moussaoui.

Good evening, I'm Zacarias Moussaoui, and this is a "Dirty Jobs" special episode.

You have sent in suggestions year after year for jobs you'd like to see Mike Rowe do. But since it was announced that I'd host this special, the suggestions have reached an all-time high.

I haven't seen the suggestions yet, but it sounds like fun.

First up, it's testing fire-proof suits. And this suggestion was sent in by New York City's FDNY chief fire-suit inspector, Tommy Gavin.

Chief Gavin, would you tell us about this new specimen?

With pleasure. This suit was specially prepared for you tonight. And we want you to try it like all our suits. Just put it on, check your mask, and give us the okay.

Let's give it a try.

I certainly appreciate this. First the suit.

Good. Now check your mask.

Good. Now, just let us know when you're ready.

Okay then. Boys, start the test.


Well, it looks like Zacarias needs to clean up a bit. I'm Mike Rowe, and we'll be right back.

* * * * *

We're back, and the next suggestion is ... uhhhh ... I'm thinking we're going to skip this one ...

C'mon, now. We have a reputation for doing the jobs. You can't let us down. What's the job?

Testing bulletproof vests.


We have Maj. John D. McGillis, head of the U. S. Marine Corps equipment testing program at Camp Holister Marine Base.

Major McGillis ...

Call me "Mac."

Okay, then. Mac.

How do you test bulletproof vests?

Simple. Put the vest on ... then ... test it.

Go ahead.

There you go.

Make sure it's secure. Got it?

Good. Now just stand right over there.


Okay men, let's test this vest!


Now, that's a dirty job. We'll be right back.

* * * * *

Our final dirty job is rope tester. We spoke with Sterling Rope Company customer service spokesman Mike Wiley.

Mr. Wiley, how does one test rope?

It's quite simple. Hook yourself on one end ... then apply a pulling force and see if it hold up.

Let's hook you up to one end.


Now, if you just jump like this ... you'll apply an appropriate force.

Yes, just like that.

It looks like this time, the item passes the test.

* * * * *

We'll be back next time ... or rather I will ... with another episode of "Dirty Jobs." I'm Mike Rowe for the Discovery Channel.


  1. [...] Welcome to Basil's version of Dirty Jobs, on the Discovery Channel. [...]

  2. Precision Guided Round-Up: Moussaoui's Punishment...

    Life....Death.... or something a little different. Since Moussoaui didn't get death, and most everyone is a little unsatisfied with life, it looks like we at The Alliance would like something a little different. KT Cat at The Scratching Post actually...

  3. Thanks! I really appreciate that.


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