The questions are ready...
Now, the first question...
Has MacStansbury pissed you off yet?
Oh, the Artist Formerly Known as MacStansbury?
EVERY SINGLE DAY. :-P
I'm not EVEN going to ask why you cuss a lot because I think it's hot. But I will ask this, what do you think of women cussing in general? Think we need to do it more often? LOL
What do I think of women cussing? I don't think about it. I think people who are offended by "bad words" are irritating, though. I don't cuss ALL the time; I am aware of my surroundings, of course. But people who get pissed off about it ON MY BLOG need to either find new reading material or lighten up. Basically, it's like this: if you can cuss around me, I'm pretty sure you're being yourself. It's obviously not the only indicator, but it works for those favor the colorful language. And of course, cussing depends on the person (male or female). With some people, it's colorful. With others, it's just trashy.
If you could kick the asses of three famous people, who would they be and why?
- Cindy Sheehan
If you mean celebritards, then:
- Cindy Sheehan, if she counts
- Jane Fonda
- Michael Moore-on
- Charlie Sheen
Oops, that's four. I'll stop now, because I've got a list a MILE long.
How much time each day *do* you spend on YouTube? :)
Huh? Hang on, I'm watching more Zeppelin videos. I'll get back to you in an hour.
What made you decide to start blogging? When? Duh, I know, silly ass questions.
Oh, THAT question. OK, I was doing my usual random clicking around and happened to be at Google's "extras" page. I saw this "Blogger" thing and checked it out. I actually had NO idea there was something called "the blogosphere"--all I had ever seen like this was some crap AOHell had a couple years ago, and at the time I thought, "how lame." Anyway, I was always emailing links to a group of people for political and military/war stuff. Since I had my own inbox stuffed every day, I figured I could ease the load on others by just slapping the links up on Blogger. Don't go look--my early blogging looks just like that. Links. More amateurish than amateur. I really didn't know jack about blogging, and honestly can't remember how I even figured out that others existed. Probably from the "recently updated blogs" thing on the Blogger start page, or from the "Next Blog" button. I was THAT clueless, and worse, I thought I was on to something new--in 2004. I've been on the internets since 1990, but didn't know about blogs until 2004. Heh. (Some days I wish I had just clicked Froogle instead of Blogger. ::sigh::)
Will you every marry again?
Blah. If anyone's taking bets, put your money on "NO." But my crystal ball broke, so I can't say definitely no/never. Just definitely not any time in the forseeable future.
Is Beth your real name?
If it weren't, would I tell you?
What did you do in the military? How long were you in? What was your ranking? Where were you stationed?
I was a desk pilot in the Air Force. A REMF. Specifically, I worked in Finance (and no, I will not answer your pay questions, people--I did stuff related to contracts and accounting, to put it very simply). And I hated it, because--especially since August 1990--I really wanted to have a more direct role in the mission. Basically, it's hard to kill terrorists from behind a desk. You know that tired ass phrase "101 Fighting Keyboardists?" I was that 20 years ago.
I was in for 11 and a half years, and was medically retired. I had by that time pretty much decided to stay in for at least 20, but it didn't work out that way. Such is life. When I got out/retired (I still think it's weird saying that, since I was 30 when I retired!), I was an E-6/TSgt.
My first assignment was at Spangdahlem AB, Germany, for two years. I might be the only person I know who was not a fan of being stationed there. It was cold, ALWAYS raining, and well, it was my first assignment. It's part of military life to bitch, anyway.
Next was Davis-Monthan AFB, in Tucson Arizona, and I was there for 6-1/2 years. I loved Tucson, and managed to get follow-on orders to Luke AFB (in Phoenix) for after my 15-month tour in Incirlik, Turkey. Turkey. That was one hell of an assignment--so much awful shit, and still, so many good times. I could write a book about just those 15 months! While I was there, I got to go to Iraq as part of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists, too. I've never even imagined, much less seen, a more fucked-up place than what I saw in Kurdish Iraq. Those people really DID go through hell, and this was years after Saddam hit them with chemical weapons. These useful idiots who say "Iraq had electricity with Saddam" don't know what they're talking about. Maybe that Riverbend chick did, but they sure as shit didn't in Kurdish Iraq (aka Kurdistan). The Kurds didn't have it much better in Turkey, either. And guess what--they didn't hate Americans or (from what I could tell) the Joooooz.
Merri knows I'm kind of a junkie for those Valentine's candy hearts--I took a couple bags to Iraq and gave the hearts to the little Kurdish kids (they all said "hey Mister!" for Americans, male or female!). They couldn't read the words, but they were so happy! I loved being there. And of course, I wish I could be there now in Iraq, doing my part. (My mother HATES it when I say that!)
Like I said, I was supposed to go to Luke AFB after that. Well, I got my assignment changed to Bolling AFB, DC, because my now-ex-husband and I wanted to be stationed together, and he got assigned to the Pentagon. Needless to say, it wasn't difficult at all finding someone to trade assignments. I was there for a year and a half before I had to be medically retired. After that, I worked at the Pentagon (civilian) as a programmer-analyst.
What's your favorite nickname for Ted Kennedy?
Hmmm. Well, not "Yak." Chappaquiddick Teddy, I guess. You'll never see me mention his name without noting, "Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment."
And no, Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached to comment on this question.
Do you feel that blogging while drunk should be legal?
Legal? For some people, it should be MANDATORY! Not for me, though. I tried drunk-blogging a couple times, and one time fell asleep instead, and the other time I ended up screwing up my site messing with the templates. (Idiot!)
How old are you?
OK, I'm not shy about it. But you have to find it at my blog. Actually, you can probably figure it out from the other answers in this interview.
Please tell us what you think is the most asinine blog EVER, if you dare. It will be understood if you do not wish to answer this question.
Vince Aut Morire. HA! (Shut up, Vinnie, it's a link.)
You know I'm not gonna answer that one, don't you? OK, I'll just pick on moonbat blogs. I'll pass on THE most asinine blog ever, because it's someone on "our side." (You know me and that 11th Commandment thing.) There are a few people who know which atrociously spelling-challenged Neanderthal nobody it is, though. ;-)
So other than the regular asinine blog, I'll pick on the obvious: Kos and Pandagon. Oh, hell, there are too many leftard blogs to list the asinine ones. Forget it.
Did you join the Air Force because of the sexy powder blue uniforms?
No, it was because I thought the Navy was full of pencil-neck geeks. Bell-bottoms in 1985? Gilligan? EEWWW. I ALMOST joined the Army, but the AF recruiter told me a bunch of shit about having to run five miles every morning in the Army. That's all I needed to hear. (And I was way too much of a sorority girl to join the Marines, or so I thought at the time.)
What makes a man sexy enough to pounce upon?
Brains, adult social skills/maturity, a sense of humor, being emotionally strong/mental toughness. Any one of those missing and it's doomed. I'm not going to lie--good looks are nice too, but I've known some guys who were stunning, but also weak, immature, stupid, selfish, whatever. No thanks. Cooking, guys--it helps too. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? Heh. Mine too. It worked for my first husband, anyway, at least for a while.
How many moonbats does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
One. A moonbat screws up everything without even trying.
They don't change lightbulbs; they sit on their asses complaining about the problem.
They don't change lightbulbs; they're busy blaming Bush and telling conservatives to sign up, chickenlightbulbchanger!
They don't have lightbulbs--they cause global warming, man.
Two, but they have to be REALLY small moonbats.
10,000; one to replace the lightbulb, and the rest to protest the unjust death of the lightbulb.
"I'm not changing your light bulb, quit oppressing me!"
Who do you want to see run for President in the next election?
ME!!! I'm old enough now!
Oh. OK. George Allen and Condi Rice. Not going to happen, but I like Jeff Sessions, too. (The junior Senator from Alabama.) But I don't remember if I knew W was going to be running back in 1998, so we'll see what happens in the next year.
PLEASE, Republican voters, don't screw this up. Don't put up someone who will be vulnerable because of personal issues. I like him/them too, but that's not gonna work. You know who I mean.
How many hours a day do you blog? Tell the truth...
TOO MANY. Honestly, I couldn't tell you. I'm on the computer most of the day, but not necessarily blogging. Usually I'm surfing or at one of my usual hangouts. Or going through fifty thousand Cotillion emails with my buds.
Religious background or affiliations?
I'm a lousy Christian, if you go by church attendance. I'm very non-denominational, but lean strongly Catholic, while also being somewhat drawn to Judaism--except I am definitely Christian. ;-) It's really not that odd of a combination. I guess I'm what flaky people call "spiritual," but Christian--and I can't stand that stupid agnostic-sounding "spiritual," but I don't know what else you'd call it. I really get into studying religions, but I don't do church. I don't have anything against it, it just doesn't resonate with me. My friend "Der Tommissar" found a Catholic church in my area that does the Tridentine Mass, so I might actually go hang out there. I like that stuff. I really like the Catholic blogs, too--I've learned a lot from them. They may not realize it but they're actually having an effect, at least on me.
Beer or wine?
Beer, I guess. And I'm extremely picky about the beer. I like bourbon (Jack, of course) and rum better, though. I'm not much of a drinker any more though--can't deal with the hangovers as a single parent, and I don't have to get shit-faced to get a hangover any more.
At what point in life did you realize that you were a conservative/republican?
When I was 12. 1979. Carter gave his "crisis of confidence" speech (the "malaise" one), and that pissed me off. I was proud of being American. I already hated the anti-American chic shit, the disrespect for the flag and the military, and all that. My mother was always interested in politics, so I kinda absorbed stuff from the TV--she was (WAS) a Nixon-hating Democrat, but that didn't really have much effect on me. Anyway, Carter had already made me think, "what is wrong with these whiners?" and then...Teheran. THAT was my 9/11 awakening. And Carter just looked helpless, negative, defeated. UGH. Not in MY country, dammit. And then who should appear, but Ronald Reagan. Full of optimism and faith and pride in the American spirit. He's exactly, exactly what this country needed. I remember so clearly being so happy that America was proud and positive again. Remember that Charlie Daniels song, "In America"--that was the perfect song for that time; a big F*** YOU to the Ayatollah and his psychos, and to all those who doubted us. I despise the self-flagellation and pessimism of the left. Sure, we have our problems, but we're about as close to perfect as you can get in a nation this size with so much to offer. The right "gets" that concept.
If Hillary Clinton started a blog what would she name it?
She would call it MY Left Wing Conspiracy. She's not terribly original, you know.
Or the Carpetbagger Report. Or if it were a "two-for-one" deal, The Chappaqua Hillbillies. Or The Anti-Wynette Page. ("I'm not some little woman 'standing by my man' like Tammy Wynette." Yeah, right Hillary.) Or the No Cookies Blog. Or the...oh hell, I'm having too much fun with this.
How are you and BEULLAH MAE1!!! different and alike?
I GOT'S THIS 1 MISS BETH (BITCH)!!!!
SADIE LOU, FARST OF ALL U NEED 2 GIVE ME BACK MY. HOTT ROLLORS!!!!
OKEE DOKEE SHE AINT NOTHIN LIKE ME SHE AINT DRESS LIKE ME OR DO HUR HAIR LIKE ME OR NOTHIN. SHE AINT EVEN GOT NO TRANS AMM!!!! OR NO PICKEMUP TRUCK!!! WELL MY TRANS AMM DONE GOT REPOD BUTT ITS OK CUZ MY EX CUZIN IN LAW GAVE ME HIS PICKEMUP TRUCK!!! SHE DO STEEL MY LITA FORD TAPE'S THO. AND I DO KETCH HER RIDIN HER LIL GURL TO SHCOOL WAREIN THEM BOXOR SHORT'S AND TEE SHURT WITCH IS WAHT I WARE ALL AROUND MY TRAILOR BUTT I ALLWAY'S GET RILL PURTY B4 I LEEVE MY TRAILOR!!!! SHE IS ALLSO RILL BITCHY ABOUT MY RITIN SKILLZ BUTT I GESS ITS OK CUZ SHE DO LET ME RITE ON HER BLOGG. I AINT GOT TIME BUT 4 1 DAY. A WEEK. CUZ I WORK ME TO JOB'S 1 AT THE BAR AND 1 AS A HAIR DRESSOR AND SHE AINT NEVER COME SEE ME AT NEATHER PLACE!!! THAT BITCH.
SADIE LOU GIMME BACK THEM HOTT. ROLLOSR NOW OR IM GONNNA COME OVOR AND KICK YER BITCHY LIL ASS!!!!! AND. I NO U DONE STOLED MY DANG DEF LEPERD SHIRT!!!! AND DONT THANK I DONT NO UR TRYIN TO HITT ON MY BOY FIREND!!!
Do you think there will ever be a Cotillion wild weekend?
Maybe if we can all finally decide on a time and a place!
Political leanings ;-)
You hate blogging, yet you blog. Explain.
Hey, I thought you were gonna throw me softballs?
Honestly, I have no effing idea. I ask myself this question EVERY DAY. Right now I'm just hoping to make it to the 2 year mark, next weekend. That's really a bad question to ask, you know, because when I think about it, every time I think I'd be just as happy being a commenter.
Nahhh. I think it's because I'm afraid to turn over the asylum (The Stupid Blogosphere®) to the inmates. Someone needs to be around to yell "sit down and shut up" when people start getting hysterical. The Stupid Blogosphere® is too hyper-reactionary and tends to extremes and negativity. I hate that shit. So I end up getting extreme and negative about blogging and bloggers.
If I were to be interviewed by basil would you ask me a question?
Of course, duh! And I'd demand all the various co-conspirators do so as well. I would ask you, "If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" (OK, maybe not.)
Is there any subject you won't discuss on your blog?
I don't like talking about personal stuff in general, but I've done a little of that. Very little.
There are things I won't do on my blog--other than a certain Cupid Stunt (let's just call her "Debbie Schlussel"), I won't slag other blogs from my side of the aisle, and I detest blog-fights. There are a couple blogs who have attacked me from the right, but I won't give them the pleasure of wasting my own bandwidth on them. I just really don't care; you can't please everyone, so I don't bother trying to.
You will also NEVER see me slagging the Bush administration, the military, or America in general.
First of all, I really don't have any reason to. But even on the issues with which I have a different opinion than Bush (very few, and they're minor), you won't see it on my site. I figure there's enough of that shit coming from the right--and God knows, the stupid left--without me adding to it. Actually, not just Bush, either; I'm a firm believer in Reagan's 11th Commandment. I think the only exception I've made is with regard to Arlen Specter. No, wait--I was pissed about ANWR being killed, but that was one easily-forgettable post. I hate hate hate the party infighting. I'm all about the big picture, the long-term goals. We won't get ANY of them achieved with Democrats running the show. Besides, whatever you think of the Republican Congress, it's better than the alternative. If we didn't have the majority, we might also not have Roberts and Alito and a strong economy and, most of all, a government that wants to actually prevail in the war.
I do think the blogosphere is overpopulated with negative, destructive amateurs, and it pisses me off. They're not representative of America as a whole, but they/we have more influence than Joe Schmoe who *might* catch the evening news on occasion. Sometimes that's GOOD, but sometimes...not so much. You'll see me bitch more about that than the GOP.
RSS or got through your blogroll?
Both. It kinda depends. My RSS feed list(s) are as unwieldy as my blogroll, but that way is faster. I'm not a big fan of RSS versions, though--no comments, no context, no visuals. It's okay for skimming, I guess. Mostly I avoid both, and bounce from one blog and website to another through links on other people's blogs and sites.
What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
I guess these days, Mike's Hard Lemonade. I know, weak. Like I said, hangovers kill me. It was Jack & Coke for a LONG time, but I'm too old for that shit now. I have no idea how I used to drink like I did (as in, a fish)!
What interview question should we NOT ask?
"What's your favorite blog?" I would not answer that one.
Who are the bloggers you have met face to face?
Only one! The Gun Toting Liberal--yes, a liberal! But he's an Alabama "liberal" (not left-winger) and in the military, so that should tell you something. He's a great guy, and although he'll never admit it, I know he's a closet conservative. His wife will get him to fully convert, eventually. :-)
I sorta feel like I've "met" Vinnie and Merri, but we haven't face to face, and that sucks. We actually use the phone (!), though--and THAT is highly unusual for me. Some day, eventually. I think it sucks I haven't at least met some of the other Bama bloggers (basil, Spacemonkey, Carol, Zeke). There was supposed to be a Dixie Blogfest in Atlanta last year but the plans fell through. There have been others I wanted to go to but it's hard to do as a single mother. Again, some day.
Do you, um, yanno, "shave?"
No, I have legs that are hairier than Yak's.
(You didn't think I was really gonna answer that, did you? Heh.)
What's it like working with MacStansbury?
It's like talking to a dang furriner. Ever get email from him or catch him on the AIM/iChat? Didn't understand a word he said, did you?
Me either. Plus he emails me a link to every single post he makes at his site, begging for a link. HA! (All right, I'm just kidding.)
You know, I really should take this opportunity to be obnoxious. But I won't. Mac--er, whatever his name is this week--John has been a tremendous asset. I am positive I would have quit blogging had he not been suckered into MVRWC. I get blogger ennui on a pretty regular basis, and if someone else is doing all the work, I get motivated fast. And, I've been able to disappear for a week a couple times and not worry about losing all the readers. He's brought a fresh voice to the blog. Now he's hanging out in the Wizbang world, and that sucks for me but it's good for him. He's a good fit with them, too (as in, not a potty-mouth, etc.).
Martin is the newest addition, and he jumped right into it. I could probably disappear and nobody would even notice, because he (and of course my twin brother) write like I do. I found Martin in my comments and snatched him up before someone else did! (SEE? It pays to comment, people!!!)
And speaking of comments, why does Mac/John/MBC get all the comments and my shit gets nothing? And Martin is a trackback magnet! Can I quit now?
If you could guest blog for Michelle Malkin, what would you post? And would you cuss?
Honestly, I have no idea what I'd write. I guess I'd kinda work with the issues she concentrates on. I'd also probably--no, definitely--would do something military-related, like something about one of the organizations that supports the troops (like Soldiers' Angels). But I don't even know what I'll write next on my own blog. And no, I definitely wouldn't cuss. I don't do it on any of the other blogs at which I've guest-posted. It's not my house.
Which reminds me...I'll be filling in for SondraK for a couple weeks starting next Wednesday! Wheeeeeee!
How much do you pay your employees, and at what intervals? Inquiring minds need to know.
All right, Martin, I know that's you in that costume!
MCBMacJohn will tell you, I pay in undying gratitude and stuff. And blog pimpage, when you get your own blog rolling.
Now MCBMacJohn is going to kill me, because it just now occurred to me I could put up tip jars for each of you guys. Don't get excited though; my tip jar is pretty lonely.
Any kids or significant other?
One little princess, 7 years old, who is my whole world. And she will be pissed if I don't mention her blog. :-) (Yes, now y'all have to visit her and link to her. Don't you want to make a sweet little princess happy?)
How did you come to be in possession of the vast right wing conspiracy?
I seized it. It's MINE.
Actually, it's just my VRWC, but there are others. This one's mine.
And I still want to change the name of my blog, but seeing it wrong/not changed on everyone's blogrolls would annoy me.
Are you willing to sell it? Lease to own? Rent?
Everyone's got a price! You want it?
If there was one thing you could change about American government, what would it be and why?
Oh, shit, Merri. I would fire Vinnie's boss. I would fix the stupid tax code--flat tax or fair tax. I would fight to get the line-item veto. I would drill in ANWR and harass the hell out of the oil company CEOs to guilt them into coughing up some money to invest in something to reduce oil consumption (not force them, nag them).
I would make a law that says t-shirt designs have to be on the back of the shirt, not the front.
I would make everyone who doesn't agree with me either get with the program or shut thehell up.
I would pay Canada to take all our stupid moonbats. Yeah, that's it.
If you get any lazier, do you foresee the day when you become fused to the couch?
No, but I may very well become fused to this damn chair. (I REALLY need a laptop!)
I do have a pile of laundry that has become fused to the floor, though.
Is it really true that you had your photograph taken with Evil Glenn with your hand or thumb in a compromising position?
HA! It was a THUMBS-UP, you DIRTY OLD MAN!!!!
since I can't really think of anything after a week of questioner block, we'll go right into the lightning round:
Paper or plastic?
Plastic, unless the paper bag has a handle.
How long 'til the Kansas City Chiefs cut Brodie Croyle (in days)?
Huh? I wasn't paying attention to the draft.
NEVER! (Roll Tide)
Emperor some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at or anarco-sydicalist commune that take in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs but by a two thirds majority in the case of...
Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
Pizza or chinese?
Pizza. Some Chinese is OK, but there's that risk of accidentally eating slimy vegetables.
Pizza or italian?
Italian! More please!
Dominoes or Pizza Hut?
Domino's, OF COURSE.
Is there anything pizza can not do?
Yes. Pizza cannot knit sweaters.
70s crap or 80s crap?
80s crap or 90s crap?
. . .
70s crap or 90s crap?
OK, 80s over 70s, 90s over 80s, 90s over 70s. I'm thinking crappy clothes and hair. The 70s most definitely were the crappiest.
Favorite crappy 70s band?
(Hmmm. What does he think is crappy, that I like?)
I don't like crappy stuff! Only you would throw a curve-ball like this.
70s - KISS. Cheesy crap, but I like them now because I'm old. (I hated KISS back then.)
Favorite crappy 80s band?
Van Halen. (David Lee Roth - good. Sammy Hagar - crappier than crap.)
Favorite 90s band?
Slayer. Not crappy at all, but I'll bet you think they are.
Favorite state you've lived in?
State you haven't lived in, you'd want to live in?
If basic training/tech school in the AF doesn't count, then Texas.
Otherwise, Florida, I guess. I guess. OK, maybe Georgia (shut up).
Cataclysmic flood happens, takes out one coast, you have to move to the OTHER coast. NY or LA?
New York. HANDS DOWN. I hate Los Angeles.
A friend of mine asks, not me of course, a friend of mine, says gender-based discrimination is allowed under the Equal Protection Clause provided that there is a certain characteristic to one gender or the other that is necessary to job function or could impair job function if not acknowledged, and says that blogging doesn't fall into that category, so he (mind you, it's not me, it's my friend, see), well he says that his (not mine, I'll have you know) application into the Cotillion should be accepted. Bringing this up is going to get me:
a. Rocks thrown at my house
b. Cursing and cigarette pack thrown at monitor
c. A complicated plot to lull me into complacency and then, when I least expect it, the cutting of the brake cables
e. More cussing than that Brodie Croyle thing
f. Its not something you can think about, since right now you cant get over the fact that Ive ritten this sentince with all they grammattical erors in it, and youre obsesively fixing them all, and you forgot all the other stuff
g. All of the above
You've been mine and Merri's friend for quite some time now. Are you aware that makes you every bit as weird as we are? Or rather, as I am?
No, that means that there are three NORMAL people in the world. And three cute but weird children.
Would you rather own a goat or a pig?
A pig, of course! Pigs for the Islamotards, like garlic to vampires! OINK!
Thanks, basil, for indulging us in this exercise in madness. I won't be offended if you censor the stray cuss words. :-)
Thanks, Beth, for agreeing to the interview. And thanks to everyone that submitted questions. You guys really came through today. And Beth, again, thanks for taking time to answer them all.Next week, the interviews continue with Chris Short (Conservative Thinking) and ArmyWifeToddlerMom.