Sunday, May 14, 2006

Stupid People

I got an e-mail recently that I thought I'd share with Basil. And with you.

How do these people survive?

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her " I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM " thingy."

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, " I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

SIX I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

EIGHT Police in Radnor , Pa , interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

John Wayne was correct: Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid


  1. These are funny. I have seen these in the past and have sent them out to friends via email as a TGIF.

    I laugh every time I see these and just have to wonder.

    Thanks for bringing these back.

  2. Add another miraculously living person to your list - me.

    At first I thought these were folks you'd actually encountered ... then I recognized the RV story and re-read the beginning. ;-)

  3. A purse snatcher grabbed a purse from a lady and was soon apprehended. He was driven back to the scene of the crime where the police were getting a report from the victim. When they pulled him out of the car the perpetrator was told, “Stand here for a positive identification.” When the police brought the lady over to him the perp stated, “Yeah that’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

  4. Today another woman in Florida was killed and (partially) eaten by an alligator. Think we need more alligators?




  8. That's the kind of language they teach at the Dade County Public Schools? For shame!

  9. Maybe she will find a nice friendly alligator.

  10. Ewwww..... why did you keep those profane comments? Can't you delete them? or.... are you planning to write a post addressing the issue of using profanity due to a lack of vocabulary to express oneself?

  11. Good grief! You'd think the students would be able to express themselves better. Well, if you are not going to write a post about it, I will.


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