Brief review: Sortapundit is unhappy with our weekly posts about Search Engine results that lead to this site. Sortapundit wants to usurp us on these particular search terms. And Sortapundit has called on his faithful followers to assist.
We're not taking this lying down, and are prepared for battle with Sortapundit. After an oversight was brought to our attention, an appeal has been made for the Imperial Secretary of War, Frank J. of IMAO, to sanction this upcoming war.
We're ready for battle. Sortapundit's ready for battle. So, what's the hold-up?
Frank J.
No response from the Imperial Secretary of War. Since this blog is a member of the Emperor's Dept. of Domestic Affairs (Keep the Home Fires Burning), we need to follow all protocols.
I realize that Frank J. is a busy, busy man.
- He works for a living. I work for a living. I understand.
- He has to cook his own meals, clean his own house, pee on the cat... Oh, wait. SarahK cooks and cleans. But Frank J. is in charge of peeing on the cat.
- He has to write many, many posts a day for IMAO's faithful. It's not like he has Harvey, RightWingDuck, Cadet Happy, spacemonkey, Scott, SarahK, or Aquaman helping out there. Oh, wait. It's exactly like that.
Maybe he's really, really busy at work. Or chasing the cat around the house with his johnson hanging out. Or just not interested in the little spat between this little blog and Sortapundit.
George Bush, Bill Clinton, and George Bush waited 12 years and 14 resolutions before saying "Enough is enough."
I'm not that patient.
It's Thursday. And I issue this ultimatum to Sortapundit:
- Accept that we can work together to advance the understanding of all mankind (or at least provide a few minutes of diversion to those surfing the Net).
- Accept that when people want to search Google and Yahoo! using the phrases:And go to a site that features none of these, they will come here.
- Accept that, while you are a loyal subject of the Queen, writing like an American is a good thing and is to be embraced if it comes naturally. Don't make me go to Massachusetts or California to find a judge to set loose on you.
This need not get ugly. But, I've got a whole sackful of ugly to unleash if necessary. Sortapundit, I expect your answer before the end of the week.
Or face the consequences.
Frank is up to about a thousand unread emails.
ReplyDeleteA warning shot for Sortapundit
ReplyDeleteJust hours ago, Allied forces began an attack on Sortapundit. These attacks continue as I speak. This conflict started March 13th, 2005 when the dictator of Sortapundit threatened our neighbor, basil’s blog. basil's blog is a member of the Alli...
Well, what kind of girlfriend are you?! Sure, you cook for him and clean for him, but you just let the e-mails sit.
ReplyDeleteWomen nowdays!
Top 10 Reasons why DRNK is so grumpy
ReplyDelete#3. World attention has moved to the upcoming conflict between Basil and Sortapundit.
One of the best ways to move up in the search engine ranking is to make the phrase in the title of your page until such time as it gets indexed. If it starts it out a higher score than coming later in the title. An even higher score if it comprises all of the title. I think putting it in table headers, H1, and H2 tags also increases your score.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Loren.
ReplyDeleteOkay, Sortapundit. Loren has offered us both some good tips on how to improve our search engine rankings.
You best stand down, Sortapundit, unless you want to face the wrath of all true blue American bloggers!
Blog WAR!
ReplyDeleteWarning Shot
A time for peace in the blogosphere, and a time for war. Now is such a time. Where there once was a humble blogger minding his on business, unassuming, un-provoking, now no longer. Attacked for no reason other than sheer search-rank-lus...