Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Headline News: 3/29/2005

From Chicago Tribune:
Famed Attorney Johnnie Cochran Dies at 67
Next Judge won't be as easy as Lance Ito

From ABC News:
Jesse Jackson Urges Fla. Woman Be Kept Alive
First Ralph Nader, then Jesse Jackson sides with President; Temperature of Hell being closely monitored

From ABC News:
Most American Adults Are Sleep-Deprived
Reports like this keep us up at night

From ABC News:
Poll: Harvard Students Mostly Unhappy
Realized President Bush has a degree from Harvard

From ABC News:
Jerry Falwell in Critical Condition
Offers to starve him next come pouring in from left

From ABC News:
Akayev Prepared to Quit As Kyrgyz Leader
Political upheaval in SCRABBLE® World

From ABC News:
AP: Some Pakistanis Jailed Without Charge
The Americanization of Pakistan nearly complete

From ABC News:
N.Y. Times Sees Uneven Advertising
Just like its reporting

From CNN:
Fraternity suspended for porn film shoot
Clinton documentary still not finished

From CNN:
Rhames wasn't a 'Kojak' fan
Still no comment from Telly Savalas

From CNN International:
Report: Annan didn't know of son's ties
U.N. leader is incompetent and stupid

From Christian Science Monitor:
Bush faces decline in approval ratings
May not run for third term


  1. "Temperature of hell being closely monitored"
    "Clinton documentary still not finished"

    This has to be one of my favorite all-around headline swipes of all time, if not my all-time favorite. Bravo, basil!

  2. he won't run for a third term?! what am I gonna do in 2008? huh?

  3. Wow! even funnier than usual. this is why i'll never beat you in the headline department.

    doesn't mean i'll stop trying, though.

  4. Thanks. And don't stop. The world needs more bad news humor.

    Uh, bad and news both modify humor. Of course, humor about bad news isn't bad. Hmmm. I'll just sit here and thank about all this for a while.


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