Saturday, March 12, 2005

Search Engine Disappointments VI

Checking the logs again this week has show that people do indeed search for some odd things on the Internet. And there are some odd searches that return this little blog. Some of the search results are obvious. Some are truly odd. But these are the ones that, for one reason or another, caught my eye. Of course, we have to begin with:

Hall of Fame

Google: gizoogle
Top five. This is, by far, the top search that sends traffic here. Thizzanx fo` tha hits.

Paris Hilton

Google: "Paris Hilton's Cell Phone Number "
Top 10 still. Paris-related searches are the number two search engine draw for this little blog. Oh, and her number used to be 310-990-7444, but she changed it, so don't call that number, okay?

Number one!! Paris Hilton's hackers have sent lots of traffic this way.


MSN: strip clubs in Ohio with midget strippers
Number one. And some more disappointed people in Ohio.

MSN: midget strippers
Not sure why we showed on this one.

Yahoo! incest pics
You have no idea how proud I am that this is one of the searches that leads perverts here... NOT! I hate comment spam. I really hate comment spam.

AlltheWeb: incest blog
That comment spam is still hurting us. I hate comment spam.

MSN: free big tit sites
Top 20. We may be free, but we ain't got no big'uns here. Sorry.

MSN: girls big tit
Top 30. And we don't have any.

Top 10. And we don't have any. Or any clothed ones.

Netscape: Nekkid wimmin
Google: nekkid wimmin
Top 10. Imagine how high we'd be if we actually had pictures!

MSN: jamie lynn spears naked
Top 20 still. Sorry kiddies. No naked Jamie Lynn here. Not even a scantily-clad Jamie Lynn.

MSN: Jamie Lynn Spears having sex Photos
Top 10. And we don't got pictures.

MSN: scooby doo nude pictures
Top 20. But it's not clear if they wanted to see Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, or who.

MSN: morgan fairchild nude pictures
Top 10. And another disappointed surfer.

Google: "prince charles" "new zealand" protest breasts photos
What kind of boob thought we'd have those pictures here?


Google: basils blog
Yay! basil's blog is the top search result for basils blog. Who'd 'a' thunk it?

Google: imao
Top 15. And Frank J. still won't BlogRoll us.

Google: macbeauland
Number two! And we got BlogRolled!

Google Seychelles: sean gleeson
So THAT is where Sean has been. Glad to see him back. Oh, we're number three search result.

Yahoo!: sean gleeson+georgia
Number one. Ahead of Sean Gleeson's own site. Sorry about that, Sean. Naturally, he won't BlogRoll us.

Google: bookofjoe
Top 5 for linking to a site that doesn't BlogRoll us.

Google: Danny Schechter
Top 10. Danny's got to be happy to hear that!

Google: romeocat
Top 15 for her blog.

Google: blog  corrects error in news
You don't think something thinks our Headline News feature is actually correct?

Yahoo!: exporting comments from haloscan to typepad
Top 15. And good luck with that.

Google-søk (Norway): TrackBack for Nuke
Top 20.

MSN: saratoga springs new york blog
Top 10 thanks to Nickie Goomba.

In The News

Yahoo! embrace your niggerdom
Number two! And I still haven't found mine.

Google: michael eric dyson, niggerdom comments
Our award-winning post ended up at number four.

Google: "Myths, Lies, and Nasty Behavior" download
Top 15 for a report I've never seen.

Google: john glenn march 5,2005 speach
Top five. But we disappear is you spell it correctly.


MSN: 22 lb lobster pictures
Top 10. But think for a minute. If the picture weighs 22 pounds, how much you reckon the actual lobster weighs?

MSN: michael jordans wife
Number two? Yes, number two. Go figure.

MSN: famous wrestler pics dwayne johnson testicle
So, somebody came here looking for The Rock's ... uh ... rocks?

Google: rob pilatus siblings
Top 10. You know it's true!

Google: Betty ala Roger Daltry
Top 3 for this odd entry. Well, we thought it was odd.

MSN: "ban smoking in georgia"
Number two for this post.

Legal (or Illegal)

MSN: Stephen Anthony Mobley
Top 15 search for this former death row inmate.

Google: Alvin Hellerstein
This moonbat judge will generates some hits.

MSN Canada: how to hack some ones msn account?
Can you really search MSN to find out how to hack MSN accounts? Looks like, in Canada, you can.

Google: "How to break into a vehicle"
Number one. Great to know car thieves have gone high-tech. And that we can help.

Google India: routing number for soverign bank boston ma
Top 5. And I'm not sure why someone needs that.

Google: Teens Saling Marijuana
Number two. And I told you that stuff would make you stupid.


Google: Moehawk
Still number one. But sarahk's closing the gap.

Google: info and pictures of a bird that has a moehawk
Number one. But I thought he was into squirrels.

Yahoo! columbus protest 2005
Top 20.

Google: "one of us! one of us!"
Top 10. I'm wondering what kind of freaks keep searching for this. And clicking on us.

Google: bugtussle alabama steak
Number two! At least this only sends hillbillies our way, not perverts.

Google: Onion Terror
Top 20. And I haven't been to Vidalia in months.

MSN: marijuana and pregnacy pictures
Top 10.

MSN: real   howe ling monkeys    of    pictures
Number four. Behind three elementary schools. I wonder what that means.

Froogle: photos of singer's swimming pool
This is just plain weird. They're selling it for $5.35 which means Froogle's smoking crack.

Google: midget, panhandling, dallas
Top five. We're at a loss for words with this one.

Google: +steroids +farnsworth +futurama
Top 10.

MSN: the beauty and the beast tv series dvd set
Top ten.

Yahoo!: phrases on disappointments
Number three means we got a new disappointing phrase for you: basil's blog.

MSN: Panda Software Scientology 2005
Top five. And I'm not sure just what they were looking for.

Yahoo!: Paul Harvery's bird christmas story
The only search result. That's what you get for spelling as bad as I spell.

Google: "weekend at bernie's iii"
Top 25. Scary that someone's looking for that movie. Thankfully, it doesn't exist.

MSN: bernie's travel typing
Number 2.

AOL Search: Asshole Jokes and Recognitions
Top 10. So, which am I?

Google: humorous compliments
Top five. Bet they don't come here in the future looking for compliments.

MSN: penquin msn
Top 3. And I have no idea what this even means.

Google: wews dirty  dish award
Top five. I didn't even know they gave that out.

MSN: Ms no swimsuit 2005
Top 15. And somebody very disappointed.

MSN: chiropractor wrestler kozlowski
Haven't figured out if it's a movie or a former NWA champion.


  1. LOL! always nice to be recognized. and, i have paid the squirrel a lot of money to keep it's little rodent mouth shut, so i guess that MSM has to make up stories about me now.
    damn. being famous is tough.

  2. does it matter (in the Google search) if you use "moehawk" instead of "Moehawk"? i don't know if Google is case sensitive. i know that i am.

  3. You're gonna have to face it: you'll have the paparazzi outside your door evry day.

  4. Oh, Google isn't case-sensitive.

  5. i just joined S.A., that's Squirrels Anonymous, for those of you that have never had a , well, (kicking the ground, sweating, and acting nervous) squirrel problem.
    i'll let you know how it's going as soon as i can make up a story.

  6. did you modify 'case=sensitive' to "case-sensitive" in the last few minutes?

  7. I have no idea what you're talking about.



  8. Paris Hilton's Cell Phone Number? Gizoogle?

    Okay, I've had just about enough of Basil's carping on about odd Google searches finding Basil's Blog. I've been without my favourite stat tracker for a good few months now, and as such have been limited to the fairly basic (yet always welcome) Sitem...


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