Thursday, March 24, 2005

Search Engine Disappointments VIII

Trying to reel it in a little this week. I've pared the listings of the search phrases that people have used to get to this blog. Some are surprising in that this little blog is a search result. And those must be real disappointments to those that came here looking for stuff that just isn't here.

For instance:



Yahoo!: jamie lynn spears phone number (#2)
They've given up on seeing Jamie Lynn Spears naked. Now they want to talk to her. And ask for a picture, perhaps?

Google: jamie lynn spears e-mail address (#2)
Maybe she'll e-mail it to you, huh? Keep dreaming, kid. Or perv. Whichever.

Google: jamie lynn spears blog (Top 10)
Maybe she's got pictures posted there?

Google Canada: Jamie Lynn spears msn (Top 20)
In Canada, you use Google to find someone on MSN?

Google: erin braless (#1)
Sorry. Your best bet is to actually be in Savannah on St. Patrick's Day.

Yahoo!: paris braless (#4)
Just a variation on a theme.

Yahoo! Paris Hilton smoking weed (Top 10)
It was only a matter of time.

Google: PHOTOS OF CHRISTINA APPLEGATE ON CRUTCHES (Top 30)
Now THAT is a fetish we've never heard of.

Google UK: nekkid lunch (#5)
I'm not sure what they were looking for.

Yahoo!: iraqui names (Top 15)
Thanks to my sister, they got jokes.

Google: thegooberqueen (#2)
Imagine her surprise when she found that out!

MSN: rachael ray homepage (#5)
Ahead of her own page! And she still won't BlogRoll us.

Google Norway: breakfast donuts (#1)
Sorry, we don't deliver.

Google: gizoogle (#3)
Not a disappointment, but it's still the top search that leads people here.

Google: Kimberly Bell admission to Fox News Geraldo Rivera (Top 10)
We got nothing on that story. But I always thought Bonds used steroids. And that it mattered.

Google Canada (French): "anti volkswagen" (Top 10)
Unless they were looking for a punchline, sorry.

Yahoo!: What is Prince Charles Last Name? (not in Top 1000)
They made it all the way to me trying to find his last name. It's Windsor.

Google: "George VII" Charles (#1)
Seems others think that's the name he'll use, too.

Yahoo!: stripper spanked (Top 30)
Sorry, no spanked strippers.

Google: reverend dan scott and the episcopals (Top 50)
Sounds like a bad rock band.

Google: niggerdom (#2)
Still can't find mine.

Google: no niggerdom (#1)
Maybe that's why I can't find it.

Google Ireland: fontally (#1)
I wonder what that means in Ireland.

Google: "list of restored films" (#1)
They must have been disappointed to realize I used it as a punchline.

Google: "hiding eggs" for smelly prank (#1)
Suffice it to say, not what they were looking for.

Google: cool Basil's in Clive (#3)
There are two basils cooler than me. But, I'm getting better.

MSN: CNN world strongest boy (#1)
That's me!

Google: define dumbass (#5)
Actually, I should be higher. Cause sometimes, I'm the definition of dumbass.

Froogle: lil kim semen (#4)
You
do realize Froogle is a shopping site. And someone wanted to buy some. I
wonder where Lil Kim gets hers. Actually, I don't. And, no, I don't
have any. Well,... you know what I mean.


Some really different ... and really disturbing ... search phrases
this week. I can hardly wait to see who gets released from prison and
gets to a search engine next week.

15 comments:

  1. reverend dan scott and the episcopals....
    sounds like an even worse hip-hop band.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm thinking it'd be a bad 'anything' band.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 3:19 AM

    reverend dan scott and the episcopals...
    oh, that is toooooooo funny....thanks for that laugh, basil...
    What does being blogrolled mean?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I like that trackback text-field! It's easier to select and cut-n-paste!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Big Sister:
    See those lists (rolls) of blogs in the right column? Those are BlogRolls. They can be done manually, or via a service. I use BlogRolling.com service. They offer free service, but I'm a Gold member. [end plug for BlogRolling.com]

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tom:
    Thanks. It was only brought to my attention recently that IE wouldn't hilite text very well. I haven't figured out what it is about the DIV tags and associated styles that's causing it with IE, so I went the textbox route.

    I use Firefox, so I had no idea hiliting text was an issue. I do view the site in IE on occasion, particularly after adding something or moving something, but never tried to hilite text.

    Anyway, I'm glad this solution is working. I may just leave it that way, then.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 4:09 AM

    Oh. So it's a big deal to be listed on the sidebar?

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 4:10 AM

    Well, that was a dumb question.... I meant that there are lots of lists on the sidebar. So is it important which list you are on?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Well, I have my BlogRolls. Others have their BlogRolls. And there are shared BlogRolls.

    If a site is on one of my (basil's) BlogRolls (3 of them), then that means (for me) that I go to their site everyday. In reality, I go to many of them, but do go to all of them, if time allows.

    I just realized that I might go on for a while on this one. I may decide to make a post out of it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 5:21 AM

    methinks I have given you fodder for several posts lately... (pats self on back)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wait until you read the posts.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Big Sister (who is 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 5:58 AM

    uh oh

    ReplyDelete
  13. does jamie lynn spears really have msn?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Amy:
    I don't know. Go ask her,

    ReplyDelete

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