Thursday, March 24, 2005

Search Engine Disappointments VIII

Trying to reel it in a little this week. I've pared the listings of the search phrases that people have used to get to this blog. Some are surprising in that this little blog is a search result. And those must be real disappointments to those that came here looking for stuff that just isn't here.

For instance:

Yahoo!: jamie lynn spears phone number (#2)
They've given up on seeing Jamie Lynn Spears naked. Now they want to talk to her. And ask for a picture, perhaps?

Google: jamie lynn spears e-mail address (#2)
Maybe she'll e-mail it to you, huh? Keep dreaming, kid. Or perv. Whichever.

Google: jamie lynn spears blog (Top 10)
Maybe she's got pictures posted there?

Google Canada: Jamie Lynn spears msn (Top 20)
In Canada, you use Google to find someone on MSN?

Google: erin braless (#1)
Sorry. Your best bet is to actually be in Savannah on St. Patrick's Day.

Yahoo!: paris braless (#4)
Just a variation on a theme.

Yahoo! Paris Hilton smoking weed (Top 10)
It was only a matter of time.

Now THAT is a fetish we've never heard of.

Google UK: nekkid lunch (#5)
I'm not sure what they were looking for.

Yahoo!: iraqui names (Top 15)
Thanks to my sister, they got jokes.

Google: thegooberqueen (#2)
Imagine her surprise when she found that out!

MSN: rachael ray homepage (#5)
Ahead of her own page! And she still won't BlogRoll us.

Google Norway: breakfast donuts (#1)
Sorry, we don't deliver.

Google: gizoogle (#3)
Not a disappointment, but it's still the top search that leads people here.

Google: Kimberly Bell admission to Fox News Geraldo Rivera (Top 10)
We got nothing on that story. But I always thought Bonds used steroids. And that it mattered.

Google Canada (French): "anti volkswagen" (Top 10)
Unless they were looking for a punchline, sorry.

Yahoo!: What is Prince Charles Last Name? (not in Top 1000)
They made it all the way to me trying to find his last name. It's Windsor.

Google: "George VII" Charles (#1)
Seems others think that's the name he'll use, too.

Yahoo!: stripper spanked (Top 30)
Sorry, no spanked strippers.

Google: reverend dan scott and the episcopals (Top 50)
Sounds like a bad rock band.

Google: niggerdom (#2)
Still can't find mine.

Google: no niggerdom (#1)
Maybe that's why I can't find it.

Google Ireland: fontally (#1)
I wonder what that means in Ireland.

Google: "list of restored films" (#1)
They must have been disappointed to realize I used it as a punchline.

Google: "hiding eggs" for smelly prank (#1)
Suffice it to say, not what they were looking for.

Google: cool Basil's in Clive (#3)
There are two basils cooler than me. But, I'm getting better.

MSN: CNN world strongest boy (#1)
That's me!

Google: define dumbass (#5)
Actually, I should be higher. Cause sometimes, I'm the definition of dumbass.

Froogle: lil kim semen (#4)
do realize Froogle is a shopping site. And someone wanted to buy some. I
wonder where Lil Kim gets hers. Actually, I don't. And, no, I don't
have any. Well,... you know what I mean.

Some really different ... and really disturbing ... search phrases
this week. I can hardly wait to see who gets released from prison and
gets to a search engine next week.


  1. reverend dan scott and the episcopals....
    sounds like an even worse hip-hop band.

  2. I'm thinking it'd be a bad 'anything' band.

  3. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 3:19 AM

    reverend dan scott and the episcopals...
    oh, that is toooooooo funny....thanks for that laugh, basil...
    What does being blogrolled mean?

  4. I like that trackback text-field! It's easier to select and cut-n-paste!

  5. Big Sister:
    See those lists (rolls) of blogs in the right column? Those are BlogRolls. They can be done manually, or via a service. I use service. They offer free service, but I'm a Gold member. [end plug for]

  6. Tom:
    Thanks. It was only brought to my attention recently that IE wouldn't hilite text very well. I haven't figured out what it is about the DIV tags and associated styles that's causing it with IE, so I went the textbox route.

    I use Firefox, so I had no idea hiliting text was an issue. I do view the site in IE on occasion, particularly after adding something or moving something, but never tried to hilite text.

    Anyway, I'm glad this solution is working. I may just leave it that way, then.

  7. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 4:09 AM

    Oh. So it's a big deal to be listed on the sidebar?

  8. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 4:10 AM

    Well, that was a dumb question.... I meant that there are lots of lists on the sidebar. So is it important which list you are on?

  9. Well, I have my BlogRolls. Others have their BlogRolls. And there are shared BlogRolls.

    If a site is on one of my (basil's) BlogRolls (3 of them), then that means (for me) that I go to their site everyday. In reality, I go to many of them, but do go to all of them, if time allows.

    I just realized that I might go on for a while on this one. I may decide to make a post out of it.

  10. The Big Sister (who's 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 5:21 AM

    methinks I have given you fodder for several posts lately... (pats self on back)

  11. Wait until you read the posts.

  12. The Big Sister (who is 5'4")March 25, 2005 at 5:58 AM

    uh oh

  13. does jamie lynn spears really have msn?

  14. Amy:
    I don't know. Go ask her,


Please choose a Profile in "Comment as" or sign your name to Anonymous comments. Comment policy