Headline News: 11/9/2005

From CNN:
Man glued to toilet may have history
Once an ass, always an ass

From CNN:
Bin Laden driver to get Supreme Court's ear
To add to collection of heads

From CNN:
AIDS activists want more money, attention
More important than cure

From CNN:
Georgia's first bilingual public school approved
Classes taught in Redneck and Ebonics, since no one in state speaks English

From ABC News:
Thailand's Only Pandas 'Married'
Massachusettes Supreme Court now allows marriages between anything except heterosexuals

From ABC News:
Two Drunken Moose Invade Home for Elderly
Elks, Kiwanis decry actions

From ABC News:
Episcopal Bishop Criticizes Pope on Gays
Says Benedict has no right to force Bible on anyone

From ABC News:
Maryland Man Survives Pirate Attack
East Carolina University students terrorize Terrapins fan

From ABC News:
Indonesia believes key terror suspect killed
Also believes in Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus

From ABC News:
Germans say French riots won't spread
Offer to invade to quell protests, still have plans used in 1914, 1940