Monday, November 14, 2005

Happy Birthday, Son

No, my son doesn't read this little blog. So he won't get this message. So it's not really for him.

But my son is celebrating his birthday today. He's 19.

I debated whether or not to blog about this. Like I said, he doesn't read the blog. And I'm not sure just how much I want to say.

Like all parents, we have a relationship that's difficult at times. He's been in a difficult situation, though. I've contriubuted to that. But so has his mother. And his grandparents.

So I won't say much about our relationship, because some of it really hurts. It really hurts. And today isn't a day about that kind of stuff. It's about celebrating him.

Nineteen years ago today, November 15, 1986, my son was born. I was present for his birth, and remember seeing him and holding him for the first time. It was a special experience. Oh, same for my daughter, who's three years older than he. But it's his birthday today.

I could go on and on about our going to baseball games, travelling to football games, throwing the ball around in the yard, things like that.

It's hard to spend time with a child when you're in the military. And when you get that worked out but then go through a divorce, it's even more difficult.

So the times I spent with the children were special times. And they got less and less frequent as they grew.

I hardly see them anymore. But that's what happens with children.

But some days make you think long and hard about that. But when those days are birthdays, you smile through the tears.

You smile because of the joy the child brings to your world and to the entire world. You smile because of the times you remember, even if those days are gone. You smile because, deep down, you know that the child is grown and can handle anything. You smile because you love your child.

Happy birthday, son.


  1. Great post. 19. I have one that age. Sorry you don't get to see him, but you do. You are lucky

  2. Poca Dot:
    I know I shouldn't complain. I'm happy to have the chance to see him when I can.

    vw bug:

  3. Happy Birthday. I'm sorry you can't see him often. As a fairly new father, I hate being away from my son even for a day.

  4. SeanS:
    Thanks, but don't feel sorry for me. As children grow, they grow apart. It's the nature of things. But I understand what you mean.

  5. Basil you write beautifully.

    You gave your son the greatest gift of all in your serving our country. He can be very proud to have a Dad like you Basil.

    Happy Birthday to your son and many more.

  6. Wild Thing:
    That's quite kind of you to say. Thank you.

  7. It is the rare parent who can set aside all else, even for a day, to be able just to appreciate this new life that is so much a part of you and so much not: and it is by far one of life's harshest lessons for the parent that young birds must risk falling to fly.

  8. Happy Birthday to your son! You are a great Dad and the love you feel toward him comes shining through.

  9. Happy Birthday to your son! The love of a father is like no other.

  10. Let my add my wishes to your son on his birthday. And, Basil, try to take some comfort in the fact at most kids/young adults between 15 and early 20's just don't want to hang with their parent(s) that much.

    It gets better later. They even begin thinking their parents weren't as "dumb" as they used to think.

    Trust me. :-)

    mom of 4 daughters (18, 22, 24, 26)

  11. Happy Birthday Wishes for your son Basil ,

  12. Basil:
    Aw complaining is fun :)
    Just that I met my Dad at 47. I shudda shoved that ship about making the first move and seen him a good 20 years earlier


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