This past Christmas, we all got together and had us a good time eatin' dinner and supper. Some folks make a turkey or a ham. Some make casseroles. Some make cakes and pies. I got me a dessert specialty I made.
Actually, Basil has the recipe for his fluffy banana concoction. I takled him out of it and I decided to show everyone that I can make do in the kitchen myself. After all, I've been eating for most of my life. And I can cook.
Anyway, here's the recipe for that Fluffy Bananna
- Look through the cabinets until you find the flour.
- Open the tupperware contain of flour. Pull hard.
- Clean flour up off the floor.
- Pick bugs out of flour that's still in the tupperware container. You can stop when you get enough flour to fill up a coffee cup.
- Open refrigerator and look for butter.
- Take the two small end pieces of butter that fell down to the egg shelf and put in a microwavalbe dish.
- get the other piece of butter that has been scooped out across the top by the butter knife and put it in that microwabavle dish.
- Put dish in microwave and microwave on high for five minutes.
- Take dish of burnt butter out of microwave. Throw away.
- Clean microwave.
- Run to store to buy more butter.
- Ask lady with shoppping cart if there's a difference between the Winn Dixie brand and the one with the little Indian girl on the box.
- Buy the one with the little Indian girl on the box. Return back to the house.
- Put three sticks on butter shelf.
- Put fourth stick in clean micrwavable dish.
- Throw away box so the old lady won't know you messed up the butter we already had.
- Microwave stick of butter for 10 seconds. Repeat. Repeat Repeat.
- Take out of microwave.
- Open freezer and find zip-lock bag of pecans.
- Take rubber band off bag of pecans. Unfold.
- Look for any sign of a date on bag.
- Smell pecans.
- Feed a pecan to cat.
- Make note to get a new cat.
- Throw pecans away.
- Go back to store to buy pecans.
- Get small bag of pecans.
- Pick up poptarts, bag of fun-size snickers, and beef jerkey.
- And a coke.
- Eat beef jerkey and five fun-size snickers on the way back home.
- Put bag of pecans in large bowl.
- Add flour to bowl.
- Put hardened butter back in microwave for 10 seconds. Repeat.
- Pour melted butter in bowl.
- Open drawer to look for wooden spoon.
- Open other drawer to look for wooden spoon.
- Look in sink for wooden spoon.
- Wash wooden spoon.
- Using wooden spoon, mix flour, pecans, and butter.
- Open cabinet and look for dish.
- Look in other cabinet for dish.
- Look in drawer under stove for dish.
- Put blob of flour/pecans/butter in dish. Mash it flat.
- Turn oven on at 350 degrees. Wait for it to heat up.
- Go the the bathroom. Take book.
- After teh light goes out on the oven, put the dish with the mashed-flat crust inside.
- Look for watch.
- Figure that it took five minutes to find watch, so use watch to time passing of 15 more minutes.
- Take dish out of oven.
- Quickly put dish on counter top.
- Put salve on burned hands.
- Add oven mitts to shopping list.
- Wash bowl.
- Open cabinet and look for confectioners sugar.
- Call someone and ask them what confectioners sugar is.
- Call someone else and ask them what confectioner sugar is.
- Open cabinet and get bag of Winn Dixie powdered sugar.
- Put half a cup of powederd sugar in bowl.
- Take about half of it back out.
- Open refrigerator and get out box of cream cheese.
- Put cream cheese in bowl with sugar.
- Look in cabinet for mixer.
- Unplug toaster. Plug in mixer.
- Open drawer and look for the beater things.
- Open another drawer to find the other beater thing.
- Put beater things in mixer. Push hard.
- Put band-aid on finger. Wait for it to quit hurting.
- Turn mixer on high and start mixing cream cheese and powered sugar.
- Stop mixer.
- Wipe powdered sugar off face and shirt.
- Turn mixer on low and start mixing cream cheese and powdered sugar.
- Increase speed on mixer until it's all mixed in together.
- Open cabinet and look for instant vanilla pudding mix.
- Go to store to buy two small boxes of jello instant vanilla pudding mix.
- Dump the pudding mix in bowl.
- Go to the refrigerator and get milk out.
- Smell milk.
- Throw milk away.
- Go to the store to get a quart of milk.
- Put half the milk in the bowl.
- Open refrigerator and get bowl of cool whip.
- Empty bowl of cool whip in bowl.
- Turn mixer on low.
- Start mixing stuff again.
- Turn the speed on the mixer up a little bit and keep mixing.
- Turn mixer all the way up and keep mixing.
- Take mixer out of bowl. Turn off.
- Wipe mess up off the walls. And cabinet. And side of the refrigerator.
- Find funny-shaped spatula thing. Lay aside.
- Find banana. Throw away brown parts. Repeat.
- Cut bananas up and lay across the cooled crust.
- Remember to let crust cool first.
- Finish cutting up bananas and spread them out across the crust.
- Find spatula thingy and use it to dump the stuff on bananas and crust.
- Using spatula thingy, spread the stuff around.
- Look for cover for dish.
- Find saran wrap, and cover dish.
- Put dish in refrigerator.
- Let chill overnight.
Basil's recipe is actually pretty good stuff. And the dish I made was a big hit. I hope you enjoy it.
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