Recently, Basil was googling himself ... and no, that's not as dirty as it sounds ... and discovered that he was tops of the Google listings for the name or word "Basil". No mean feat, to be sure, since there are lots of famous people named Basil already around. Plus there's that herb that some people cook with.
No matter. Basil ... the Basil of this very Basil's Blog ... was tops of the Google rankings. And it took 20 months from the launch of this little blog of his to make it to the top.
One of the Basil's that was now ranked below our Basil is a comedian that lurks around our nation's capital. Basil White operates out of the seat of our government ... or the area around, I should say ... and makes people laugh.
Have you seen the guy? Hell, just looking at him makes me laugh.
Still, bringing laughter to proud Americans is a good thing. And Basil White has been doing a good thing at great American institutions like the Bentz Street Bar in Frederick, Maryland. And at the Del Rio in Leesburg, Virginia. And at ZIG'S in Alexandria. And at Wiseacres Comedy Club in Tyson's Corner, Virginia.
Laughter is a good thing. It serves its purpose. And bringing laughter is a noble mission.
But sometimes it's time to get serious.
And that ne'er-do-well Basil White has crossed the line!
When he heard that our Basil was tops of the Google listings, Basil White took comfort in the fact that he is tops in the Google search results for "Basil White." As well he should be. But when it was pointed out that Basil ... our Basil ... is tops for "Basil White Trash" ... well, that didn't set too well with Mr. White.
He's gone and declared war!
Well, Basil White ... if it's war you want, it's war you shall get.
Everyone ... everyone able-bodied man, woman, and child ... 18 and over ... that's going to be in the area of these locations, stop in and visit. And heckle him! Heckle him unmercifully! And maybe a chant or two. You'll think of something:
- Wed., Aug. 16, 8pm, headlining at the Bentz Street Bar in Frederick, Maryland. In the heart of Frederick City at 6 South Bentz Street and Patrick Street. Reservations are recommended (301) 620-2222. Directions at Bentz Street Bar Web site.
- Fri., Aug. 18 9pm & Sat., Aug. 19 9pm, headlining at Wiseacres Comedy Club in Tyson's Corner, Virginia. That's his home club. 8401 Westpark Drive at Route 7 in the Tysons Westpark Hotel across from Tower Records. Reservations at 703-734-2800. Buy tickets here.
- Sat., Sept. 16, 1-5pm, & Sun., Sept. 17, 1-5pm, Basil White is teaching a class at the Bethesda, Maryland Writer's Center: "Applying Standup Comedy Writing Secrets" to poetry, fiction, literary reading, etc. Map and directions here. The class description is here, and you can register at 301-654-8664.
- Sat., Sept. 23 @ 10pm, headlining at the Del Rio in Leesburg, Virginia. South side of Route 7 (aka 701 E Market St) between Fort Evans Road and Prosperity Avenue. Online directions here. Call (703) 777-9554 for reservations or visit the Del Rio Web site for directions. First three SLOB members who show up with a printed e-mail message from Basil White get a FREE CD! To join the SLOB, send your ZIP Code to this address.
- Fri., Nov. 10 @ 8pm and Sat., Nov. 11 @ 8pm, headlining at ZIG'S in Alexandria, Virginia. This is a live taping for his new DVD. Zig's keeps its full dinner menu open until 2am. 4531 Duke Street west of Jordan St. in Alexandria, VA, about a mile East of Landmark Mall in the FoxChase Shopping Center. Online reservations here, or just call them at (703) 823-2777. Point-to-point driving directions here. First three SLOB members who show up with a SLOB message from Basil White get a FREE CD! To join the SLOB, send your ZIP Code to this address.
Oh, if you can't make it to one of his appearances ... HE'S GOT A BLOG! Visit his blog and tell him he can't win this war.
Now, fellow soldiers, we implore you to remember the Rules of War.
- No spamming! That's a war crime.
- No hacking of Web sites. That's a war crime.
- No talking about his mama. Never mind. She's fair game!
We'll show Basil White what White Trash is all about!
We didn't start this war. But, by God, we'll finish it.
That is all.