Headline News: 3/8/2005

From ABC News:
Consumer Reports' Top Car Picks
Not as popular as guitar picks

From ABC News:
AOL to Launch Net-Based Phone Service
Still unclear who you'll call if your Internet connection is down

From ABC News:
Brother of Jackson Accuser Admits Lying
Unclear if his confession is to be believed

From ABC News:
Tests Show King Tut Was Not Murdered
Charges to be dropped

From ABC News:
Bonds Says He'll Be Ready for Opener
Illegal performance-enhancing drugs expected to be delivered on time

From ABC News:
Women Bare Breasts in Prince Charles Visit
It's good to be prince

From ABC News:
Don't Call Tomato a Fruit in New Jersey
Jersey Tomatoes Don't Take That Off Nobody!

From ABC News:
Foreigners Vie to Adopt Black U.S. Babies
Mr. Drummond moves overseas

From ABC News:
Israel to Hand Over Control of Jericho
RAW Superstar won freedom in Steel Cage Match against Ariel Sharon

From ABC News:
Ed McMahon Leaves Hospital After Fall
But Before Summer

From ABC News:
Cronkite: Rather Stayed Too Long in Job
24 years too long

From ABC News:
Bill Clinton to Have Scar Tissue Removed
No Word On What Doctors Will Do With Hillary

From ABC News:
Bush: Tsunami Response Improves U.S. Image
Makes other countries forget all about Michael Moore

From ABC News:
Democrats Charge Republicans Stifle Democracy
25,374,691 Iraqis disagree

From CNN:
Huge crocodile finally captured
Eluded authorities by disguising self as huge alligator

From KMGH:
Review of professor's work near completion
Committee to determine how he made radio from coconuts, but couldn't repair hole in S.S. Minnow

From CNN:
Human smuggling trial begins
Martian smuggling trial delayed

From CNN:
Italy disputes U.S. death account
Has eyewitness from N... uh ... Morgan Fairchild. Yeah. That's the ticket.