Search Engine Disappointments V

Once again, we dive into the visitor logs to see who came to visit by the Search Engine route. That's actually pretty common. What's not common is what some folks are searching for. This little blog shows up as results on some surprising searches.

Not only did we show up, but folks actually clicked on us, possibly thinking they'd find what they were searching for.

Hot Chicks and Dudes

Google: private x-films
Top 10. Thought I doubt they were looking for us.

Google: "Lauren Green" panties
Top ten. We got her CD. But not her panties.

MSN: janette jackson nude
Number one. But she's not here.

MSN: jamie-lynn single panties pictures
Another number one. And another disappointed horny teen.

MSN: Jamie Lynn Spears naked
Top five. And a disappointed horny teen, no doubt.

MSN: nude pictures of jeff gannon
Top five. And a disappointed democrat.

MSN: naked oklahoma collage girls
Top 15. And a disappointed student at Connors State College.

Google: knoxville cheating wives
Just missed top 200 on this. I guess we need to do more Knoxville slut-blogging.

Yahoo!: waycross cheating wives
Number four. We must do enough Waycross slut-blogging.

MSN: tall girls 6'2" with big butts
Top ten. And a disappointed horny teen.

Yahoo!: charlie sheen boxers or briefs
Top ten. And since you asked, commando.

Paris Hilton and Her Niggas

Google: the niggas at dfnctsc
Number two. Paris, you're a gold mine! I'd call you if I could find your number. All I have is your old one.

Yahoo!: 310-990-7444
What I don't understand is, if they found Paris Hilton's old telephone number, why are they still searching?

Google: "paris hilton's phone number"
Top 20.

Royalty

Google New Zealand: charles and camilla cartoons horsey look
Most of the search results were left-wing sites. Go figure. As nice and polite as most of them are.

MSN Canada: Camilla Parker Bowles & Prince Charles cartoon
Top 20.

Google: charles p.a.g. mountbatten-windsor
Numbe one. That's scary. Heir to the throne, and we're top hit on his name.

Basil

Google Turkey: basil's truck wall paper for baby
Number two. You know, if I was a musician, that would be the name of my next album.

Google: basil
Top ten. Top blog. And now ahead of Sherlock Holmes.

MSN: basil's blog
Number one! Take that, Kevin Basil. You too, Basil Baker.

Google: what is basil
Number six. But now they know.

MSN: basilsblog.net
Number one. And two. And three. And... well, you get the idea. I wonder what they expected.

Google: basil leave picture
You mean a newer one?

Google: BASIL MARGOLIS
Top ten. No, the doctor isn't in the house.

Other Blogs/Bloggers

Google: imao
Top 15. What I don't understand is why they scrolled down to me. I mean, I'm not even on the BlogRoll over there.

MSN: link:thegooberqueen.blogspot.com
Top 30. Not high enough to get her to add me to her BlogRoll.

MSN: heimonen /2 mark
Number three. Sorry about that groupThink.

Google: macbeauland
Number two. And he still won't BlogRoll me. And I'm from his neck of the woods.

Google: mike gallagher bloggers
Top ten. I don't think he'll BlogRoll me any time soon.

Google: evil glenn
Number one. Again. But guess who's number four? That's right. Instapundit! Bwahahahaha!

MSN: blogger/babe
Top 20. Maybe I'll get nominated this time.

Other Celebrities

MSN: marcelo rossi
Top five. Some Rossi fan is probably still looking for the Elton John cover CD.

MSN: Conservative Republican Allen Keys' lesbian daughter
Number one. Ahead of Washington Monthly and National Review.

Google: clint eastwood pedophile rumors
News to me.

Google: harvey birdman terror level
Top 20. And I don't have anything on this. But it's a funny show.

Crime

Google: "thomas e. mails" & "ward churchill"
Top ten. That post is still dragging in hits. No, he hasn't been charged. But uncharged forgery is still forgery, right?

Google Australia: vernon yancey murder trial result feb 2005 alabama
On the search, we're no longer around. Maybe, one day, he'll no longer be around, either.

Yahoo! btk items for sale on ebay
No we don't have any. Now go away.

Other Searches

Google: gizoogle
Number two. This search has retaken the number one spot from Paris Hilton for searches that lead to this site.

Yahoo!: black eye peas url
That's a band, I found out. I wondered why we were getting hits like this. And it took me like, oh, five seconds to find their Website.

Google Australia: Moehawk squirrels
Number one! This ought to make someone happy.

Google: jeremy waxman sos russia us airways
Number two. But not what they expected, to be sure.

MSN: columbus georgia burger king pictures
Top ten. Somebody's starting the World's Most Unusual Scrapbook.

Google: resealable socks
Top five. Adrian Monk surfs the Net.

Yahoo! UK: bernie ancog
Top five. And, no, he's not here. Try the Philippines.

MSN: school system dropouts in 30318 zip code
Number two. And this from a former high-school graduate.

Google: Hippie's opinion of Vietnam
Top 15. But who really cares?

UPDATE: I've been thinking about something. Something someone suggested. Related to this topic. Might try it this evening.